I haven't been on the blog for a while, and for that I need to apologise. I have returned to work recently and have been putting all of my time (and energy) into this for the time being.

To be honest, I have been too exhausted and too busy to do much else other than concentrate on geting back into it.

My reasons for returning to work are just as much about taking my recovery to the next stage, just as much as trying to repair my financial situation, having been off work for around 18 months.

I originally went for the interview for the role 8 weeks after surgery last June 2009. I am not one to stand still. In the end there was a hold on recruitment until the end of December, and I responded to a call that I received and accepted the role more or less straight away.

When I accepted the role (which basically came looking for me in the end) I was not sure that I was ready, and again to be honest, I am not sure if I still am. However, I am giving it everything that I have at the minute to make it work.

The role in itself is something similar to what I was doing pre-Chiari which is a retail support / development role, something that I was accomplished at and enjoyed. Something that, in the early days, I never thought that I would be able to do again.

My previous role included lots travel around the country averaging 30 to 40k miles per year. With this role, I have an area confined to the North West of the UK, therefore a lot less. I have had a few trips out already and have covered enarly 1000 miles in 2 weeks, but it is not going to be the norm.

The company that I work for are quite simply brilliant in many ways. Very organised, havea great work and play ethic, are large enough to be sustainable yet small enough to be caring and supportive. I have been given all the tools and resources that I would ever need to complete my job, I have a long term development plan and the owners of the business are extremely well grounded and very much in touch and integral to its own success. There is a brilliant team atmosphere and the communication is great. There really is something quite special about them.......... it just feels right.

So all in all, it sounds like a perfect return to work.

I am however finding that I am exhausted at the end of the day, my days off are spent sleeping / dozing and I have never ached as much in a long time. I guess my body has to adapt and I have to learn to live with a certain amount of discomfort. I also have to accept that it's not going to be as easy as it used to be, and that I need to work harder to get done what I used to do with ease.

I am going to go back to the spoon theory again, and balance what energy levels that I have day to day and touch into reserves when needed and look after myself to achieve those goals.

I am still under the care of a NS at Walton Hospital and am having further investigations carried out to find out why I still have certain symptoms, and how much spinal nerve tissue damage there is. I am also undergoing Physio to try and get the muscles in my neck, back and shoulders in some kind of working order.

I think that I am coping. I am certainly enjoying the challenge again, I am meeting new people, getting out and about and using my brain. I can recommend this for feeling a lot better about yourself following such an ordeal as I have over the last 18 months.

The jury is still out about how long I can sustain what I am doing, and I need to find a balance. I am sure that it will come, as long as I remain positive.